crawling out of an unofficial hiatus


My dearests,

I promised myself I’ll never write another massive six-months update, but here I go. I’ve still yet to become a manager over time. When I came back from my month-and-a-half missions stay in Europe, I really thought I’d write more reflections. Some call it distractions, I call it complacency, others call it denial — whirlwinds of labels are easy — and real identities are misplaced when I don’t intentionally ruffle through the beauty that can be clearly seen through speaking with God. But I’m not here to condemn myself, and definitely not here to just speak poetic theories of why I haven’t been sending out update letters. Shortest excuse would be: life has been (and still is) full. Long excuse:

During the short and efficient talk back in April with Danny oppa where we decided on my going to Hungary, it has also been decided that I would be attending the Bread of Life Training Institute in the near future (I just realized how ridiculous the program title sounds, but it’s more or less a bit like a Bible School with a dash of BSSM or YWAM kinda thing but also maybe not — I honestly have no reference point for this, but sometimes I feel like I’m back in Morrison). We never agreed on an “exact when” until he messages me on a random sunny May day to say he has decided for me that I’ll attend this coming September. I don’t know if I was happy or shocked, I mostly saw it coming. We’re that close.

My stakes have been pretty low since I’ve graduated uni: no hugely important job, no significant other, no pets, nor any ground to hold. Maybe, I kept it that way because running away from Taiwan is all I’ve ever dreamed of since I was six. It’s a big paradox — every time I leave, it’s not the place that I miss, but those who are rooted here. Is Taiwan home? Yes. Is Taiwan home? No. I feel rootless (it’s a comforting notion, really) so asking me to attend a school for a year where my heart is rooted but feet are itchy honestly sounded a bit dreadful. I agreed on it, yes; but nonetheless irked by the idea that I’d be planted, just for a long-ish while.

September came slowly as jet lag left me. I slowly began to forget the rush of mega-fast escalators in Europe and the ones here felt fast enough. Enough — I am. It still felt like a cosmic joke. I was neither bitter nor excited for this year of Bible School, but God always likes to give me a knock in the head. The last evening of orientation, Pastor Jon firmly said every soul attending this year was here for a reason. It wasn’t the way he said it, but something in the atmosphere felt reassuring. This year-long adventure is going to be full of goodness, growing pains, and the is’s: the non-not-goods.

To detail out the plethora of realizations I have been experiencing the last few months would take another thirty paragraphs. Most of lot of these lessons are still being answered through extremely wide-open questions, maybe I’ll write about them as they come to their own semi-colons.

I think I’ve explained myself enough by this point, I know I’m placed so strategically. Every inch of me knows that God is good and I chose to rely on this factual feeling.


  1. I will be living and working as a “missionary” in Budapest, Hungary from June 2020 to June 2021. This information has been confirmed for quite some time but now, it is finally official. I’ve decided that being a missionary is just a title and label that I will not be daunted by — I refuse to let all past experiences of growing up as a MK to limit the journey God is leading me to. The details and description of my year-long commitment will be announced soon in another update. Please just keep me in your prayers. I’m also seeking financial support for this long term mission. If you feel led to support me financially, please contact me for more details.
  2. Before my yearlong trip, I will be making a little trip to Nairobi, Kenya in March. Every Bible School student is required to go on a mission trip and Kenya was on the list of options. I partly chose Kenya because I couldn’t wait to check another continent off my list and mostly the testimonies from last April’s trip were wild. I hope the encounters this time would be just as ridiculously outrageous.

    I know it is a privilege for me to be on this team. We are dubbing this team as the 2020 Super Team. There will be 150+ members from different Bread of Life churches across the world. We’ll be there to partner up with a local school in the slums set up by a missionary couple. I’ll take part in Children’s Ministry and teach the lovely young souls about stewardship and management through games, crafts, and simulations.

    I am oh-so-excited about seeing the school that has been talked about so much over the past months. I am expectant for God to work miraculously once again. I also hear I’d be waking up to the sight of giraffes and zebras everyday, praise God for nature.

    I chose Kenya despite the fact that one, it was the most expensive option, and two, I have almost nothing in my bank account. Sometimes I really wonder if I am truly crazy. But when God says “Come” I don’t know how to say “No.” There is this confidence deep within that God will pay for all of these expenses that I am incapable of conjuring up at this moment. I am the most spoiled princess there ever was, spoiled and thick-skinned in the most innocent, non-assuming yet expectant way — I will wear this title like a crown.

    For this trip I need to raise around 70,000 NTD (~2,300 USD). I believe that our God is generous and some of you my dearests reflect this nature wholeheartedly.

Please do support me in any way you feel led. I am also finding ways to become more business-savvy with my talents so I can actually support myself once in a while.

Thank you for sticking so close in this journey with me — even the thought of you reading through this letter gives me courage.

Super belated happy holidays and so many well wishes for you in this new year


Amie Ko